(no subject)

so i had an absolutely wonderful birthday, once i got out this evening. went to my bdsm dinner, and it was fun, took bradley with me.

then home, then back out, this time with leslie & crowd. went to dinner, five-o, and legends. had an absolutely mind-blowing time - almost perfect. two things were lacking in making it perfect - my josh, and a chick. although i did get the kiss that shawn sent through leslie. shawn, have i mentioned how much i love you lately? yum. :)

more later - i am tired. and i was craving pain... better now. at least temporarily.

thanks to everyone for the bday wishes - they all helped me have a good birthday, even without my josh.

(no subject)

so now i am awake, and posted my lj from last night (thismorning?) b/c it wouldn't post then for some reason.

my grandmother called meat seven this morning, and i was incoherent, and had to call her when i woke up - apparently the one time i didn't call my father to keep him updated on my whereablouts, he got worriewd, and called me! I knew it.

Have to be at worjk at 1:30 (I love fridays, i think.:) ) and no class, so i slept late. and then my josh is coming this week, a coat fitting tomorrow morning, and going out with everyone saturday night.

warning - a long message about why my day sucked

my day...
got up, went to the bank and then off to work. not so bad for most of it - work until 3 ish, when we then have a fitting. (which is totally pointless for me to be in, but as the design assistant, i go, i go) now, judy (the costume director god) is in a meeting, which means that the fitting should have been scheduled at that time anyway. the costume designer, bobbi, is outside in the hallway - i am asked to go and get judy, because she will want to see the shirt that was made. okay. i go, i interrupt the meeting, i tell judy. i wait outside - 1 - i am talking to someone, 2 - i don't want to go back and be yelled at b/c there is no judy, 3 - the less people disturbing the fitting, the better. judy comes out - buitches at me "i don't need to be herded, i can make it on my own" i explain the less people = better theory, she hrrumphs. i know she is just bitchy because her meeting was interrupted. i go back into the fitting, and they only need her for one tiny thing, and say she can go back to her meeting - yet she can't, because it's over bc she left - so then, they say "I'm sorry that i didn't make it clear enough that we just needed her for that one thing, KRISTY." excuse the fuck out of me? how did this become MY fault? I don't think so. bobbi said this, and she wasn't even a part of it.. grrr.. whatever.
so then we have another fitting, it goes well.
after this, i am asking jenny (the shop manager/asst costume director) about pieces lists, which I am supposed to be making, and she says she has been doing it too, so i say "yay, then you can stop, since you have so much to do and all, and i can do it" but she says we must do it together. (which is, again, pointless.) so we start making a list of changed for the guy who was in the first (fuckedup) fitting. we realize there is a big mistake with one of the changes at 5:28 (note : 2 minuted before ia m supposed to leave) and i say "let's just stop here, ask bobbi about it, and then do it on mon" jenny saysno, that it doesn't matter what bobbi wants, this is the way it has to be, balah blah, and that let's just do this. umm.. last time I chedcked, the designer was the one getting paid to decide what was worn when, not the shop manager.. hmm... so then at five-thirty, i say "well, i have to go run errands and stuff, it's five-thirty", and jenny sdays this will only take ten more minutes, and i say I HAVE TO GO! and she says did you come in at one-thirty today? and i say yes, actually before, so she can't use that one on me. (fuckher) and then she says fine, i will do it, and i say, i can come in early on mon if youw ant and do it,. and she says no, i will do it, and i say - fine. and go to my table and start getting my stuff together. she comes over and says"this will only take ten more min, can;t you stay"? and i say " no. i need to run errands and i have this homework that needs to be done by tomorrow, blah blah. and she says, well, if you had a fitting you would stay and do it. and i said - if i had a list of something i had to get done by a certain time, it would GET DONE, no matter what i had to do, but telling me at 5:15 to do something, when i had been sitting around all day and had several times of downtime was not acceptable and she went on and on and made me feel like absolute shit, and i finally said fine, i will stay. so i did stay, and it did only take ten minutes, and then i fucking left, too late to run errands before dinner (yes, i would have been cutting it close, and yes, ten minutes would have mattered!) so i ran errands after dinner, and now i am hoime, with lots of work to do before tomorrow and before monday.

if this were an actual job, and i was being treated this way, i would leave. I would so be out of here,. I was treated this way this summer - i hated it, and i suffereed through it for graduate school. i think that says something about how much i want to be here. however, i can NOT take this shit every fucking day, it just can't happen - my mental health will not allow it. if jenny had said when i came in that she wanted to spend some time together going over stuff, but that she wouldn't be able to until after 5:30, so could i please stay late, i would have said sure, no problem, and planned around it. but no, she waits until i am ready to leave, and then tells me to stay late.
FUCK THAT!

Lesley tells me that there are theatres where people are happy to work there, that they work there because they love it. laura tells me so, too (both of the laura's i know. :) )
well, this is complete bullshit, and if it continues (which it inevitably will) i will be talking to judy about it, becaue i can't stand it. i went through hell to get to where i am, i am NOT going through hell for three years - there are places that I could go that would teach me this and more without putting me through this much hell. and i think i may just find them.

what really really sucks about the fact that this chick and i can't communicate, is that i am supposed to be her assistant for tweo months at the end of the semester, the time at which i decided i would decide whether or not i wanted to stay here and go to grad school. (after i have taken 2 semesters) leaving on that note will NOT be good for this decision, i assure you.

i love you all, you make life worth living.

music - bluegrass cd that i just got. :)