(no subject)

okay technical people - i'm currently unable to send mail. this is the error message i get, and i get it no matter who I try to send mail to, and no matter whether I am trying to send mail from mindspring or my foxfire account. any suggestions?

The message could not be sent because one of the recipients was rejected by the server. The rejected e-mail address was 'WOMBAT@LISTSERV.AOL.COM'. Subject 'Re: [WOMBAT] my kids' school closure: update', Account: 'mail.mindspring.com', Server: 'mail.foxfirearts.com', Protocol: SMTP, Server Response: '550 <wombat@listserv.aol.com>... Relaying denied', Port: 25, Secure(SSL): No, Server Error: 550, Error Number: 0x800CCC79

(no subject)

time for bed. yay. :)

(no subject)

so I'm up, awake and showered, currently eating breakfast with plans for lunch - I might actually make it to school on time, even - and with coffee! :)

it was hard to leave the bed with a nice warm josh in it, and a lack of sleep. it was for a good cause, though.

(no subject)

so, i've spent my afternoon crying.

why? who knows. no, wait, i do. ha.

firstly, it's that time of the month. yeah - the time when I go off cirth control pills for 6 days, and like clockwork, get depressed on the weekend I'm off of them. Unfortunately - I forgot. AGAIN. And thus, it hit me harder than usual.

as to the rest? school shit. I don't want to be here. I think I'ma failure - I'm not good enough. I do everything that I am supposed, I do more than I am supposed to, I'm together, I turn in *EVERYTHING* on time. i do everything right, goddammit. and for what? not to be good enough. FUCK THEM.

so I've been crying - every time I got myself semi under control, someone else would come and talk to me, and I'd start crying again. huzzah. I finally just gave up on lighting, since I haven't really gotten anything done on it today anyway - so much for being productive, and decided to come home. now i just have to hope that josh hurries home, i should call.

i'll be better soon. really.

or i just won't care anymore.

i know, scott, i;m making the decision to be depressed. I'm just not there, yet - I can be fucking sunshine and light all the time.

and i'm ashamed - especially so that I broke in front of others. how fucked up is that? I've been so together this semester asnd last - even when I wasn't together, i was still more together than most of them - and now, i fuck up. well, everyone has limits.

(no subject)

okay - so we're off to tim and robyn's for dinner - i should be better, hopefully. I'll just warn them that I may cry at the drop of a hat, and that it's not their fault. :) maybe I'll grab a movie to take over. hee.

and thank you, everyone, *so much* for your comments. I do feel better. and I'll set my palm pilot to alarm next month, so it shouldn't catch me off guard. :)

(no subject)

we're home. and we had a lovely dinner - even brought some home with us. tim and robyn are so good to us. I've stopped sniffling, and my eyes still hurt, but I'm about to go and curl up with my josh, so that should make things better. and tomorrow - hair, and work. :)